she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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