Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
