i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
