I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
