If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's never too late to be topless.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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