Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
