okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
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