im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
