Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
