if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize