Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize