So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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