She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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