Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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