There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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