Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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