Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
