How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
