apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
