K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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