What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
