WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
