i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
