Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
