i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize