dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
