YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
