Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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