god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
