happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
