Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
