he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
