found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
