I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
he's gonorrhea incarnate
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just pee around me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
