i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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