I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
