what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize