i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
