You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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