Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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