Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
