i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
