I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
