He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
