yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
