do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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