who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
