My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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