I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
