i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
