I accidentally burped into my bong.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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