remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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