On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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