Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Randomize
