I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize