good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
