I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
