I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
