i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My bed smells like the plague
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