Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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