he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
