Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
