I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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