you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
