my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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