I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I want to make a zoo with you.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
