You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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